Grayfox
10-26-2001, 09:06 PM
Bill Clinton finally dies and, as we all expected, he goes directly to hell. He is met at hell's gates by Satan, who tells him that, contrary to popular opinion, hell is indeed full. However, Satan continues, since Clinton so richly deserves to spend eternity in hell, he will replace one of the current inhabitants. But Satan softens the bad news by telling Clinton that he can choose who he replaces in hell.
Satan takes him to a hall with three doors. He opens the first door.
There stands Newt Gingrich, sweating mightily as he labors away with a sledgehammer, making little rocks out of big ones. Clinton shudders. "I don't want to spend eternity working like that! Show me another choice."
Satan opens the second door. There is Ted Kennedy, bobbing for old auto parts in a cold pool of filthy water. Clinton grimaces. "I don't want to be doing that until the end of time! Show me another choice."
Satan opens the third door. There is Ken Starr, totally naked and bound tightly to a pole. Kneeling in front of him is Monica Lewinsky, doing ... well, doing what she is most famous for doing. Clinton brightens. "Well, if I'm going to spend eternity in hell, that doesn't look too bad. I'll choose this."
"Very well," says Satan. "You may leave, Monica."
Satan takes him to a hall with three doors. He opens the first door.
There stands Newt Gingrich, sweating mightily as he labors away with a sledgehammer, making little rocks out of big ones. Clinton shudders. "I don't want to spend eternity working like that! Show me another choice."
Satan opens the second door. There is Ted Kennedy, bobbing for old auto parts in a cold pool of filthy water. Clinton grimaces. "I don't want to be doing that until the end of time! Show me another choice."
Satan opens the third door. There is Ken Starr, totally naked and bound tightly to a pole. Kneeling in front of him is Monica Lewinsky, doing ... well, doing what she is most famous for doing. Clinton brightens. "Well, if I'm going to spend eternity in hell, that doesn't look too bad. I'll choose this."
"Very well," says Satan. "You may leave, Monica."