[RedneckCowboy]

You might be a redneck if...

-you've ever mowed your lawn and found a car
-you think a 401K is your mother-in-law's bra size
-to you, megabytes means a good day fishing
-if you've ever climbed to the top of a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor
-your mother keeps a spitcup on the ironing board
-if you think the last four words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "gentlemen, start your engines"
:p

[Ramangel]

if you think the last four words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "gentlemen, start your engines"

I think it is on Sundays :D

[John Henry]

R.N.C. ..... Just remember, you started this!


You might be a Redneck IF...

You use your fishing license as a form of identification.

You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.

Your coat-of-arms features kudzu.

You burn your front yard rather than mow it.

You go to family reunions to meet girls.

Your secret family recipe is illegal.

Your momma has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.
Or your momma knows what "IYAAYAS" means

You were shooting pool when your kids were born.

Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes and a coat and grabbing a flashlight.

You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.

Your parakeet knows the phrase "Open up, Police!

You come back from the dump with more than you took.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

You've been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

You've bathed with flea and tick soap.

You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.

You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.

You took a fishing pole to Sea World.

You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

You have a rag for a gas cap.

Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

You can spit without opening your mouth.

You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota.

You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.

The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

You thought the Unibomber was a wrestler.

You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.

Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.

A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvement.

You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

You've asked the preacher "How's it hangin'?"

You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is.

The directions to your house includes the phrase "turn off the paved road".

Your dog and wallet are both on a chain.

Your dad walks you to school because you're both in the same grade.

You mow the lawn and you find a car

You divorce, remarry and DO NOT have to change your surname

Or, you remarry three times and still have the same in-laws

(the above stolen directly from Jeff Foxworthy)

[Grayfox]

My all time favorite.

"If you see a sign that says "SAY NO TO CRACK" and it reminds you to pull up your jeans, you might be a redneck". Jeff Foxworthy

[RedneckCowboy]

"Say No To Crack" is the one I forgot to put on. Looks like I really am at home with this crowd. :p

[Turtlenapper]

That's Grayfox the 1st class REDNECK. :D :D :D :D

[She Who Must Be Obeyed]

I saw Jeff Foxworthy perform live in Memphis one time and the one about crack is my personal favorite. :D